17 things you’ll only know if you have eczema.Is It Right?

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To anyone who complains about having dry skin in winter, you seriously don’t know the half of it.

Eczema is a seriously unpleasant skin condition, and worst of all, there’s no cure.

It’s something you just have to learn to live with – and if you live with it too, you’ll recognise these 17 signs:

1. You probably had a special school uniform as a kid

Not because you were a superhero or had special powers, but because the regular one irritated your skin too much. Oh, the shame.

2. Your bathroom has more creams than a pharmacy

Diprobase? Doublebase? Elocon? Elidel? We’ve tried them all, and they don’t bloody work, okay?

3. Everyone thinks they are a doctor when they see you scratching

‘Oh, have you ever tried E45?’ they say. Erm, yes, obviously, and OBVIOUSLY it didn’t work.

4. Just when you think it’s gone, it comes back with a vengeance

Like the night before your wedding, or an interview, or a date with someone you really like. Basically, every time you really don’t want your eczema to rear its ugly head, it turns up again.

5. Eczema actually stops you sleeping at night

It ain’t easy being itchy.

6. You have a legitimate excuse to want to go on holiday all the time

The sun cures my skin, OK, cynics?

7. The sleeping you is the worst you

You can put on all the creams, cotton gloves and bandages in the world, but the minute you go to sleep, there’s nothing to stop you scratching it all off in a frenzy.

8. You often resemble a wild animal

Scratching all the time is not a good look. Apes and bears may pull it off, but you don’t.

9. You have no control over your actions

You don’t even realise you’re scratching. Well, 99 per cent of the time.

10. ‘Stop scratching’ is the most annoying thing anyone could ever say

‘It’s like having chicken pox for your whole life,’ we respond. That shuts them right up.

11. You often wish you were a house pet

Being scratched and pampered all day? That’s the dream.

12. Turning the shower to its full heat potential is the best feeling ever

Scalding your arms, neck and legs under the boiling water feels absolutely incredible… until the water stops flowing, that is.

13. You wish you could scratch yourself with your legs too

Those lucky rabbits, dogs and cats…

14. You shouldn’t use those fancy shampoos and conditioners, but you do

We’re already ostracised from society because of the massive red blotches all over our body, so let us have these forbidden pleasures, please.

15. You leave little dead skin flakes everywhere you go

Attractive…

16. You’ll get it in the worst places

Under your eyes, around your neck and even in your scalp – and hiding it under make-up only makes it worse. And no, over-familiar strangers, the eczema on my neck is NOT a love bite.

17. You have been known to rub your itchy bits against inanimate objects

And these ‘inanimate objects’ sometimes include your friends – at least, until they notice…

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