Psoriasis is a lifelong condition and those who have spent enough time managing the red, flaky patches come to certain realizations that others may not understand.
1. Possessing a personal and profound disdain for dry winters.
2. Knowing that your body is capable of creating its own skin snowflakes.
3. You justify having a beard or not shaving your legs to spare your skin.
4. You completely understand the helpfulness of sunlight on your skin, so you worship it like a god.
5. You have at least one thing in common with Kim Kardashian.
6. You’ve changed up your diet so many times in hopes of preventing future breakouts that you could win on “Iron Chef.”
7. Having all that extra space on the train, bus, or at the airport since people are afraid to come near your skin.
8. You remember the first time someone made a mean comment about your skin, which was probably ages ago. But you’re over it, right?
9. You routinely promise people it’s not contagious.
10. The awkwardness of looking at photos where someone has made a poor attempt at Photoshopping away your red patches.
11. Knowing stress is a major contributor to outbreaks, only to stress over how anxious you are about your stress.
12. You could never get away with a crime because flakes of your DNA would be all over the crime scene.
13. Meeting someone else with psoriasis and instantly becoming best friends.
14. Knowing alcohol is a trigger for an outbreak, but not letting skin problems come between you and a glass of red wine.
15. You’ve developed the power of a Zen Buddhist to overcome the incessant urge to itch.
16. You know steroids can help your skin, but they won’t help you win the home run derby.
17. You regularly check your shoulders anytime you’re brave enough to wear a black shirt or dress.
18. The incandescent sheen of freshly applied medicated grease on your face.
19. Not having to remember what chair you’ve been sitting in because the greasy smudges your medicated elbows made on the armrests are a dead giveaway.
20. You embrace the finer points of having an overactive immune system, like getting sick less often.
21. You could end a drought given how much water you save by taking quick showers so your skin doesn’t dry out.
22. You set land speed records by how quickly you got to your moisturizer after showering.
23. You have 14 different moisturizers and know the ingredients in every single one.
24. The knowledge that all that moisturizing and skin care will keep you looking absolutely fabulous into your golden years.
25. Your mother’s aunt’s cousin has something that will clear that right up.
26. You’ve been to the dermatologist so often you could drive to the office blindfolded.
27. That happy dance you instinctively do when a new therapy starts working.
28. That moment when you realize you’ve stopped thinking about your skin for more than an hour.
29. When it comes to minor cuts, your skin has Wolverine-like healing abilities.